Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
