if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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