just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
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