I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
