just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
there is glitter all over my balls
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