So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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