Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
