Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize