I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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