Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
