tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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