And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
