But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
