He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize