he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
