ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My vagina just recognized that song.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
