just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
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