Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
