Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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