shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
