He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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