what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
