Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
