Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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