what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
