yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
