dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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