It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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