you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
