it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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