get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
