You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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