i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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