You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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