Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
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the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
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Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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