I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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