hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
