Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
