They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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