I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
