Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
