Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
