im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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