Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
only if we run a train.
done.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
