If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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