You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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