New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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