I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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