Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
