who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
