none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
