He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
