you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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