come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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