I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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