i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
