I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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