i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
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His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
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I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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