My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
