we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
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Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
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God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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