All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
