After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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