I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
