Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize