I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
