did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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