Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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